* -- _________ burton (emily deschanel)

_________ BURTON !

so, since joel is played by david boreanaz, it’s only natural that i beg on my hands and knees request an emily deschanel to be the ying to his yang.

’kay, so joel’s a bostonian bartender with a bit of baggage; he’s in montréal escaping the bride he jilted at the altar (jerk!). some would think this is a little extreme. not really; when half of your ex-fiancé’s, gia (for whom i will also be requesting, in a moment :]), family consists of the italian mafia, it’s probably best to leave the country. anyway, after a disastrous turn as a paperboy, joel acquires a job bartending. burton’s there, for whatever reason, and they chat up a bit. “your ass is ringing,” she informs him, and he whips out his cell phone. it’s his ex-fiancé. he’s about to hang up when burton grabs the phone. since gia is pretty sure that this isn’t joel, she asks, “who is this?” “sorry,” burton says, “i’m busy fornicating with joel – you can call back later.” in awe of this ballsy move, joel’s eyes turn into little hearts. so, naturally, these guys get together at some point, but it’s obvious from the start that joel has serious commitment issues. oh noes!

and that’s not all! here you were thinking that all i had in mind was a bones-esque emily deschanel/david boreanaz hookup! anyway, burton also has a little sister named gemma (as played by the fabulous elle and portrayed by the equally fabulous zooey deschanel). apparently, burton is naturally surrounded by people with relationship issues, since her little sister has a major thing for married men and the ultimate curse of not being able to make any relationship she attempts work out. burton’s very protective of gemma, for that as well as all the sisterly reasons.

all other deets are up to you!